Dear readers, a COO never hopes to write a goodbye like this. I always thought Pied Piper would outlive me by centuries, lasting at least until Richard’s great-great granddaughter steps down as CEO when she, like King Edward VIII, finds true love. I have given over three dozen eulogies in my life and this one is the hardest yet.

Sup? Russ Hanneman here. I made my lawyer put some teeny tiny fine print on the contract that I get to use Pied Piper’s site to advertise my sick festival. And those nerds are super busy setting up their internet for me, anyways. So I’ve got the keys, and I’m driving this bad boy straight to the desert.

Hello readers! For this week’s blog, I have the privilege of bringing you some exciting Pied Piper news! As Chief Financial Officer, I am pleased to announce that Pied Piper has acquired Hooli. After many years of competing, we are excited to bring Hooli’s reputation of innovation under the green umbrella of Pied Piper.